Jane Faulkner

Upcoming CLE: The Resourceful Lawyer: Inner Tools for an Ethical Practice

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Catching A Wave

Having just returned from Sayulita, Mexico, I was inspired by the surfers who dot the ocean waves there. Surfing is different from many sports because the waves are moving targets.  Seems like a great metaphor for life and work!

So how do they "catch a wave?"  The expression itself is apt--it describes moving with the energy of the wave, perfectly timed, and responding as you move to the water, the wind, the tide.

An art form, yet there are certain skills that I observed that might be useful in any venture. 

The surfers become familiar with the environment, sensitized to how the waves are moving, the size and shape of the waves, the wind, the other surfers.  This requires use of all of their senses and patient, persistent observation and awareness.  Second, they learn from experience how to "join" the wave--move into its flow so they are riding the surf.  Risk taking is key here-practicing over and over until the "feel" of moving with the wave is embodied.  Quickly, the surfers learn that resistance gets you a mouthful of salty water.  Timing is everything-if you are not in the moment and willing to act, you will miss the opportunity.  And of course, my favorite--a surfer must be centered and connected to his/her core to stay on the board and to stand up and balance.  Intention and constantly adjusting movement seem to be the key to a long ride along the crest of a wave.   When it happens, it is a thing of beauty....

Any surfers out there who can give us some tips?

The Whole of You

I am often asked what Embodied Living means.   One of my clients expressed it well when she said, "The whole of me is so much more effective and satisfying than the head of me." 

Imagine that you are on a journey through uncharted territory.  You have a map, but it is not detailed.  Because you want to find your way, you bring a compass and a dog with you.  And perhaps you learn celestial navigation as another handy tool.  You might find someone local to be a guide as well.  Embodied Living is like that.  We are all on a path toward our own wholeness.  Some choose to call this a path toward their purpose or expressing who they are in the world.  Others might call it ascending consciousness.  Whatever you call it, it is your journey and it will be easier if you prepare and bring along the tools to find your way.  Or you can choose to be unprepared and accept the consequences of getting lost at every turn.

What are those tools?  In my work with clients, we notice everything.   If there is a feeling, we explore where and how that feeling is expressed in the body, in the sensations, through our gestures, in our inner voices and parts.  One thing leads to another and soon the client finds that he/she has awareness at many levels, not just one or several.  A feeling may lead to a young part, leading to knowing and healing that part, in turn leading to healing the family dynamics that fueled the reaction of the part.  The client may see that the part lives in a particular place in the body where physical symptoms have resided that are now available for recognition and release.  That release may lead to an awareness of untapped resources such as inner power or creativity.

The journeys with my clients are true adventures.  We discover lost treasures, meet dark, shadowy figures in caves, encounter a multitude of diverse characters, are swept away with the beauty of landscapes as they come into sharp focus,  and are blinded by the light of the inner essence, just to mention a few.

Curious?  I invite you to engage with your own curiosity about everything that you encounter, inside and out.  Recall your own days of exploration, when you were a tiny tot.  Reclaim those skills and notice how big your world grows.

Living and Growing in the Place of Unknowing

Transition and change are gifts, if we are open to receiving them as such. The bright side of fear of transition is a childlike curiosity about the unknown. Once we know our fear, we can choose to respond to the unknown from the curious and open parts of us. It is in the place of “not knowing,” that new ideas and possibilities are born, that imagination, creativity and life intersect. And with a spirit of inquiry, rather than fear or control, we can discover our own wisdom and creative wellspring.

How often do we shrink or contract in the face of change or transition? How often do we avoid risks, refrain from coloring outside the lines because we are afraid of the “consequences,” go to that place of fear inside, rather than the place of curiosity about the unknown?

When we are in fear, we are living in a state of stress. What happens then? Neurochemicals in our system cause our heart to race, our breathing to become shallow, our mouth to dry, and the thinking and reasoning part of our brain to shut down. Our perspective shrinks, and our muscles tighten—we can see only what is right in front of us. We may want to fight back, run away, or, overwhelmed, freeze.

We each have an internal panel of triggers connected to childhood experiences when we did not feel safe. For some, the big trigger is financial worry, for others, fear of loss of relationship or connection. Fundamentally all triggers are about safety, security, or feeling seen, accepted, and loved—our core needs. As we get to know our own “trigger panel,” we can anticipate when we will get triggered and begin to notice what happens in that moment. As with a two-year-old child, the biggest gift we can give ourselves in those moments is a time-out. Even a “bathroom break” may bring space into that moment for you to begin to observe your own reactions.

I use centering when I need to take a break. I love Wendy Palmer’s approach to centering, which I’ve included in the Practices part of this page so you can try it yourself.

What does centering do for me? It brings me home to my Self. The voices in my head are, for the most part, very young children. The fight/flight part of my brain is basic instinct. When I connect to my Self, I connect to the observing part of me, who experiences the world in sensation and curiosity, not the feelings or emotions that color the sensations.

Recently, I was triggered when I felt that I was not being heard in a relationship. When I centered, I could see that I reacted to what I perceived as resistance by resisting back. I actually experienced the sensation of resistance in my belly. As I stayed in center, I realized that I was reacting to my own perception, not some objective reality. And, it did not matter whether I felt heard by that person or not, as long as I knew in myself what I wanted and what my boundaries were (what I was willing to compromise). I could meet my own need to be heard, by listening to and standing for myself, not against another. I remind myself, if I bring my attention to resistance, I will create more resistance. If I bring my attention to what I want and desire, I will create more of myself. My energy always follows my attention, so choose wisely.

Once you begin the practice of creating that space between your Self and your reactions, you make space for new possibilities.

Let’s imagine that you are sitting across the table from the unknown future after having lost your job. Your first reaction was fear, and now you are centered and curious. You may still feel the fear, but you are in touch with the part of you that is connected to a loving source, where there is no fear. At this point, you can enter into a dialogue with the unknown. Wendy Palmer calls this the Spirit of Inquiry.

A conversation ensues. Self asks the unknown, “I wonder what it would be like if I trusted that you held something wonderful for me?” Self notices what it feels like to let go of the battle for control and rest in this place. When Self listens carefully, deep inside, there is a voice that answers, “Relax and trust me.”

M.C. Richards, one of my heroes, communicates this artfully. She was a leader in the community of avant garde thinkers and artists who started the Black Mountain College of Arts in the late 1940s. She tells a story about leaving Black Mountain and moving to a new community house in upstate New York. In a dream, she entered the garden of the house where she saw a strange-looking three-eyed figure on the compost heap. She asked it, “What happens now, what next, why am I here?” She heard the figure reply, “I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.” M.C. laughs when she mimics the figure: “It’s cookin’ on the back burner. You just hang in.” And sure enough, things fell into place.

M.C. tells us, “All that matters is being able to experience life and to be guided by the things that please us deeply. The soul is fed by what pleases us deeply.”

This is what the unknown offers us. A place to let go of “how” and embrace what brings us life. Bring the fear with you. Give it a cup of tea and laugh together. For there is only this moment, where anything is possible.

References:
Richard Kane and Melody Lewis-Kane, M.C. Richards: The Fire Within, DVD (Sedgwick, ME: Kane Lewis Productions, 2003)

Wendy Palmer, The Intuitive Body: Aikido as a Clairsentient Practice (Berkeley: North Atlantic Books, 1999)

Wassa Dance in Seattle

My first encounter with African dance was in a class given by Seattle dance teacher, Lara McIntosh. She is the creator and proprietor of Wassa Dance.  This afro-fusion class is inspired by the Bambara name given to her in Mali, meaning "one who acts for joy and fulfillment.”  As we started dancing to the live drums that play during her Sunday classes, my body began to remember.  Though I had never taken African dance before, it was if the spiritual and physical parts of me joined in that moment, recalling the archetype of the embodied feminine and her role in creating and shaping life.  My body felt as if the drums were in my heart, a wave of energy had taken root in my torso, and my feet were touching earth for the first time.

Lara’s life journey led her into the African dance scene.  She had been a dancer all of her life and it was through synchronicity that she found herself learning and teaching African dance and eventually in Mali, Africa experiencing it first-hand.  Her friends, students and family made the trip possible-very fitting when you begin to understand that African dance is all about community.  Not only in its socio-historical roots, yet also in the way it so easily brings a group of people together as one as they move in sync to the elemental rhythm of the drums.

I think that many people have a distorted understanding of African dance-especially that of African women.  In our ego-centric western society, we are very focused on the individual.   Many of the gestures in African dance have to do with the symbolic and spiritual nature of the feminine.  When you lose yourself in the music and the movement, you know that you are celebrating the rituals and passages of life, the self, and the body.

It is through Lara’s patient, humorous and wise teaching that I have come to understand that the African view is that the body is the community. Of course. And the feminine as it is expressed through the dance is not only the deep well of collective memory, it is also energy and the creation and sustenance of life that is central to any tribe.

Somehow, in Lara’s classes, I get all of that, though Lara uses very few words to explain.  As we move through the room, swaying hips, gesturing from the heart, feet holding the beat, I am literally carried inward to a knowing that is elemental and universal.  It is an understanding that it is only in our connection to our deepest selves and to others, that we will have what we need to survive and thrive in the world today.

I have studied somatics and I love bringing the work to my clients and workshop participants, and yet something has always been missing for me.  African dance is bringing me home to the feminine embodiment of life and our connectedness in the truest sense.  When we are all practicing the movements that Lara teaches us, even in our sometimes awkward first attempts, there is still a sense of collective energy in the room that speaks louder than any words.  It brings us together in our bodies, hearts and spirits.  It feels like life.  If you live in Seattle and want to experience Lara’s lively energy firsthand, come to one of her classes.

Mark Walsh-The Body Guy in UK

 

Mark Walsh is passionate about his work with embodiment, integration and peace and it shows.  Residing in colorful Brighton on the sea (I have added it to my travel wish list), Mark has accumulated quite the list of life experiences.  Everything from 10 years of aikido training and teaching on five continents (he is a black belt of course) to spending 3 years traveling the world with Aiki Extensions, Inc. He has studied with the leading somatics teachers Richard Strozzi-Heckler, Wendy Palmer and Paul Linden.  He has tried more types of body practices than you can count, including contact improv and trampolining.  He runs a successful training and leadership company and he is only 29!  Check out his blog-one of my favorites.  Most of all, Mark embraces embodiment and body mind integration practices and principles with so much enthusiasm that you are inspired to get curious and get moving....