Jane Faulkner

Women Lawyers Thriving in Their Own Firms: Christi Muoneke

If you've ever met Christi Muoneke, you will remember her.  Christi serves her clients with humor, practical savvy and insight into their business needs and challenges, and as a result her practice has been expanding despite the economic downturn.  As she says, “I strive to be the kind of renaissance lawyer that I would want to represent me in business, [as opposed to one that I'd want to write a law review article with].”

The founder and owner of Zephyr Law Group Group, Christi is a joy to know and work with. Her background is unusual and her brilliance is undeniable.  Yet, it is her dynamic presence and down-to-earth nature that magnetize friends and clients to her.

Born to a lawyer father who was a diplomat for Nigeria and a mother who is an educator, Christi spent the first decade of her life living in different countries such as England, France, Sao Tomé, Gabon and Ireland.  In 1967, her father was exiled from Nigeria because of the civil war with Biafra, and Christi and her six siblings were hidden in shipping containers [otherwise packed with dried fish and other marvelous-smelling relief aid food], until they were safely inside a cargo plane arranged by a Roman Catholic aid agency.  After a long and harrowing flight, they arrived in Cork, Ireland and lived with a wonderful Irish family, the O'Neils, for several years until the war ended and amnesty was granted to all former Biafran operatives.  Her parents returned to Nigeria and the family reunited.

Back in Nigeria for high school, and a good student, athlete and tomboy, Christi was training for her blue belt in karate, when a friend told her about a beauty pageant with a trip to the US as first prize.  As most of the rest of the world, she'd always been intrigued by her image of the US, a country she'd yet to visit.  And so, although she didn't consider herself to be a great beauty, Christi spent months preparing and transforming herself from "dojo geek" to "beauty queen." 

To her surprise (and that of her family and friends), she won the pageant over more suitable contestants!  And that experience made her realize that we can achieve the near-impossible, with enough desire, grit and determination.  The prize trip to New York changed her life and drew her back to the US to attend UCLA.  Although the 5th of 7 very close-knit children, she was the first to move to the States.  Over the following years, her siblings did so one at a time, and today they’re all reunited again, albeit in different parts of the country.

After graduate school, she spent six years designing high-rise office buildings in LA, but ultimately felt ready for new challenges. Encouraged by her father and brother, both lawyers, she decided to go to law school, and subsequently graduated from Stanford Law School, where she served as Associate Editor of the Stanford Law Review.   She moved to Seattle, starting her practice at Perkins Coie and then Graham & Dunn, where she practiced corporate securities, M&A and technology law.  She also spent over 7 years at Microsoft, where she worked with several of the company's major business and product development groups, Including  Windows Client,  MSN, Int'l Strategic Alliances, and UPG/Emerging Markets.

Christi's "aha moment" came in 2006, while 5 months pregnant with her second child.  During a routine visit with her husband for an ultrasound, Christi collapsed in her doctor’s office with major hemorrhaging.  As she was being wheeled into the operating room, in danger of losing her child and her own life, she was later told that she came to for a moment, and asked the doctor if the doctor could please hurry as she had to make it back to work for an important 3 p.m. meeting!  Needless to say, she never made it back to that job (that day or any other), and remained hospitalized until her son was born several weeks later.

The weeks of bed-rest and forced non-activity resulted in some reluctant soul-searching, and Christi had to rediscover her intrepid self again.  She also realized what mattered most to her, the gift of time with her family, and what her proudest accomplishments were.  She decided to start the kind of practice she'd dreamed of when she first decided to study law.  It was an easy decision.

Initially, she found work through colleagues and friends who knew her during her time in practice.  Zephyr Law was born in 2007 as Christi moved from her home office to a space in the Georgetown/SODO area, and the firm has continued to grow and add lawyers and other professionals.
The name Zephyr was inspired by Christi's family car (a Zephyr 6), her first introduction to "technology."

Her firm is thriving and so is Christi.  What does she bring to her clients?  A nimble practice that meets each client’s unique needs over time, personalized legal service of the highest quality, a keen business sense and can-do practical approach, and reasonable pricing.  She makes it her job to understand the culture and sensitivities of her business clients. Because she is a “business advisor” in the truest sense, her clients are satisfied and her practice is growing.

Christi's goal is to take a couple of months off with her kids, to spend the summer in a different African country each year.  She enjoys the very small firm feel where everyone finds the schedule that works for them, and is supported in their own intentions.

Would Christi change anything?  Probably not.  "Obviously, I wouldn't be where I am right now without each and every experience that I’ve had along the way. Going home to Africa every year helps keeps me grounded, and reminds me of what a great life I have – whatever the challenges. With the slightest twist of fate, my life could easily have gone in a completely different trajectory, like that of the other billions of people in the developing world.  As we say back home, ‘after you’ve had the experience of pulling a lion by the tail, you’ll never again be afraid of a mere kick from a donkey.’” 

She is ready to slow down the building of her practice and put some processes in place to streamline procedures.  Other than that, she feels blessed and fulfilled in her life.

Do Women Lawyers Have to Sacrifice Personal Life for Work? --Saying No Effectively--

Work-Life-Balance-1

The answer is No......
In an online forum for a business school class on work life balance, a lawyer offered the following lens into her own journey of sacrificing personal life for work.  "By the time I figured out that I could and should have demanded more control, I had spent most of my 20s and 30s in the office for 12- to 14-hour days, six to seven days a week—never having the time to date, much less get married and have kids. Now that I figured it out, it's too late. I'm not alone in this amongst women of my age. I'm glad younger women are getting guidance and seem to be pushing back on this.”

 She said that surfacing the topic "would have caused big problems on the work front--the ‘guys’ would have jumped on that as an admission that the women weren't as dedicated and somehow too ‘weak’ for the profession."

The professor of the George Washington School of Business course on entrepreneurial leadership for women (including work-life balance), Kathy Korman Frey,  sympathizes with the lawyer and calls her story "incredibly powerful." She writes of three secrets of those who are best able to balance work and home responsibilities. These people:

1) Are clear about their priorities and have stopped being “yes people.”

2) Are confident about what success means to them.

3) Have a competitive advantage because they have figured out how to make themselves better and different from their co-workers.

How do you say NO effectively?  Through my somatic work with clients, I have found that the people who say no most effectively are speaking from a place deep inside themselves that empowers them to simply stand for what they believe and need. If your no is focused on defending or protecting from another, it will be weak and ineffective because you will be "over there," not coming from your own center. 

By connecting with your head, heart, and center and the larger field of energy around you,  you can say no without becoming angry or defensive.  How do you do that?  Tune into your deepest core values and your intention that flows from them.  Embody those values and intention by connecting to them through a clear mind, an open heart, and a strong center (your belly or core).  While concentrating your energy in your belly or center (your neutral zone) and holding awareness of head and heart, feel the support available to you from the surrounding field of energy (yes it exists even though we cannot see it!).  Then say No.  Notice the difference!

The Power of Heart-Centered Leadership

“The great become legendary when they teach by example.  It isn’t what they have, or what they do, but what they have become that inspires all of mankind, and that’s what we honor in them.”
                                                                                       David Hawkins

We all want to be inspired, moved, touched, and stirred from within to claim a nobler part of ourselves.  I just met with a young healing professional who inspired me. Because she had become her commitment to healing, I felt a renewed sense of desire to bring the qualities of the feminine and open heartedness into my life and work. We all need to be leaders today. As we step into leadership, the gap between vision and action will disappear.

In his seminal book on consciousness, Power versus Force, David Hawkins created a map of the energy fields of consciousness. They range from shame at 20 to enlightenment at 700-1000. At the 200 level (courage), we transcend from “force” to “power.” (The Constitution of the United States calibrates at about 700.)

Hawkins notes that force always creates counter-force; it acts in the face of opposition.  Power is still--like a lighthouse it energizes, illuminates, and provides support.  Power is associated with compassion while force is associated with judgment.

He then goes on to show that noble principles emanate from consciousness. We are motivated by those ideas that have meaning for us, whether they are logical or not.  Ghandi did not protest in the face of violence directed at him.  Logical?  No. Inspiring?  Absolutely.
Thousands of people followed him, leading to the withdrawal of the British Empire from India.

Values and meaning—these come from the non-linear side of our brain and from our feelings.  The invisible energy fields that seem chaotic at first are really coherent, unified patterns. The right brain “gets the pattern,” and the left brain “makes it visible.”

Hawkins tested attractor patterns with muscle testing in a large, representative sampling of people from all over the world; across the board, attractors such as compassion, love, and forgiveness tested strong, while weak attractors such as pride, judgment, and revenge tested weak.  He cites the book In Search of Excellence by Thomas Peters and Robert Waterman as a case in point. It shows that companies with “heart” are the most successful, rather than those that are strictly left-brain and scientifically managed.

Heart
Great leaders find their power in those noble sentiments and principles that live in the range of consciousness above 200.  How do we know when we are inspired?  We feel inspired.  The heart is where our truth lives, where we find our values-- that which has “heart and meaning” for us. And, of course, it is where we connect with empathy, compassion, and acceptance of ourselves as well as others.  These are not linear, logical, or rational qualities, and the left side of the brain cannot connect us to them.

Daniel Goleman’s work at Harvard has shown us that great leaders empathize with others, tune into the mood of the room or organization, and then create a force field that influences that mood.

From Heart Math’s research, we know that the electromagnetic field of the heart is 5000 times more powerful than the brain.  The heart has its own intelligence, just as the gut has brain cells. The heart signals can affect the brainwaves of those around us.  Have you ever spent time with the Dalai Lama?  His mere presence is enough to influence you deeply.

Mind 
Our minds are powerful when they are in service of higher consciousness.  If the mind leads by itself, we are likely to succumb to the insecurities of the ego and the emotional triggers that stem from our childhood. Without the heart’s leadership, we lose perspective, becoming trapped by our own emotional biases and distortions. When the mind serves the heart, it becomes our most powerful agent of change.

It is with our minds that we focus our energy and attention, whether on an idea, a commitment, spiritual guidance, or our feelings and sensations.  We can use our imagination to expand our heart’s desire and create vision. And through intention and resolve, we manifest our ideas. 

When the mind is in service of the heart, we gain the awareness and courage to recognize those childhood beliefs and emotional triggers that no longer serve us, and have the ability to change them through acceptance and love.

Body
Life happens in the present.  The only way to experience the present moment is to be connected to and aware of your body.
I find that the easiest way to come back into the present is to connect with my breath, my heart, and my center (lower belly or gut). Our center has its own intelligence and knows how to move in the world. Think of a great athlete or dancer--they move from center. 

Through our body and our center, we experience sensations, feelings, intuition, and instinct.  Often we know something in our gut long before we know it in our mind, if we pay attention.  It is with our bodies that we gather information about the world and our inner being, stand for what we believe, and ground our lofty visions.  The body is a powerful partner and one that we often ignore or “push” well past its natural limits.  Staying connected to our bodies is one of the best ways to tune into our hearts and feelings and provide a check and balance for our runaway minds.

Conclusion
I work with my heart, mind, and body to connect to the larger “field” of support and to tune into spiritual guidance.   My body is like a radio transmitter with the signals coming through my heart.  My mind creates new possibilities and ideas with the signals.  I think of the body and mind as partners, serving the higher consciousness that flows through the heart.

A former teacher of mine is a model for me.  She was so heart-centered that you felt her presence and love just by being in the room with her.  She deeply honored all life, and she responded through her feelings--when she talked about an experience, you were right there with her, feeling what she was describing, being inspired and transformed.  She was intimately connected to her body, laughing from her belly, walking her talk.  She trusted herself and her students trusted her.  Her mind was trained and disciplined to look at itself without sentimentality.  Through her leadership, I found my own greatness.

Successful CEOs are on the ground, not in the clouds

                                                                        flickr photo                              

I was inspired by this article in Daily Good from CBS News about Japan Airline's CEO Haruka Nishimatsu. He is a great example of how a leader can inspire and motivate from the bottom up, not just the top down!

Here is a reprint: (CBS) 

There's a lot of resentment these days against executive compensation and all the perks taken by corporate heads.

When the Big Three automakers' CEOs came to Congress begging for a bailout, they got a lecture for arriving in their private jets.

CBS News correspondent Barry Petersen says maybe they could learn something from the boss of Japan Airlines, Haruka Nishimatsu, who takes the bus to work.

Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain spent more than a million dollars decorating his office. But Nishimatsu knocked down his office walls so people can walk up and talk to him, and he works from a desk with an old-fashioned wooden in-and-out box.

There is a rationale to his anti-"corporate perk" lifestyle. It's about his employees.

"There's no one person being on top," he told us, "and one person being on bottom, in an organization such as ours."

Got an idea? Tell him at lunch in the company cafeteria because he wants people to share.

"I go there," Nishimatsu said, "to raise morale and motivation."

And he motivates one-on-one, regularly popping into planes, chatting with flight attendants, even helping sort the newspapers.

"I'd like to just find what is going on at the front line," he said.

All CEOs say that service is important, but Nishimatsu goes a step beyond. He says that if you're having a bad experience, don't get angry with the people you're dealing with … blame the person in charge.

And the person in charge here walks the walk.

"That flight boarded early," he says to a supervisor. "That's good."

For running the world's 10th largest airline Nishimatsu doesn't make millions. One year his pay was $90,000 because when he had to cut salaries, he also cut his own.

"My wife said, 'What?!" he laughed.

Does it work?

"Yes," he said. "The company is doing better, and so are its people."

A maintenance chief at the airline told us, "I always thought a CEO was above us in the clouds, but we're able to talk with him directly."

Five Ways to Say No Without Losing the Connection

I wanna say NO

I no longer practice law, yet I recall that I had to say no to clients and adversaries all day every day. Then of course, when I had children, I found myself saying no again-and it often felt similar to my days practicing law.
When my kids hit middle school, I remember going to a talk by a local psychologist, Laura Kastner and having a big AH HA.  She said that to sustain our intimate relationships, we needed to be saying five Yeses to every one No.  We all looked guiltily at each other, realizing that we did just the opposite.

Saying No is an art. A wonderful tool that I learned in my somatic training is to maintain connection, even as you say No or create a boundary.  Here are some time tested tips for saying no without creating resistance, while maintaining connection:
1. Stay energetically connected to the person you are saying "No" to by maintaining a heart and gut connection.  Stay in eye contact facing the person, open and vulnerable. 
2. Adopt the perspective that you are not being defensive, rather you are taking a stand for yourself or your belief in the situation. I open the palms of my hands toward the person as a reminder of this.
3. Before saying No, place yourself in the shoes of the other person.  Empathize and have deep compassion for his/her needs that underlay whatever position is taken. Acknowledge those needs.
4. After acknowledging the needs, concerns of the other, gently direct the flow of energy to your own boundary, without guilt or shame.  State your boundary and do not make excuses. 
5. Before leaving, once again acknowledge the other person and let them know what is possible.

Catching A Wave

Having just returned from Sayulita, Mexico, I was inspired by the surfers who dot the ocean waves there. Surfing is different from many sports because the waves are moving targets.  Seems like a great metaphor for life and work!

So how do they "catch a wave?"  The expression itself is apt--it describes moving with the energy of the wave, perfectly timed, and responding as you move to the water, the wind, the tide.

An art form, yet there are certain skills that I observed that might be useful in any venture. 

The surfers become familiar with the environment, sensitized to how the waves are moving, the size and shape of the waves, the wind, the other surfers.  This requires use of all of their senses and patient, persistent observation and awareness.  Second, they learn from experience how to "join" the wave--move into its flow so they are riding the surf.  Risk taking is key here-practicing over and over until the "feel" of moving with the wave is embodied.  Quickly, the surfers learn that resistance gets you a mouthful of salty water.  Timing is everything-if you are not in the moment and willing to act, you will miss the opportunity.  And of course, my favorite--a surfer must be centered and connected to his/her core to stay on the board and to stand up and balance.  Intention and constantly adjusting movement seem to be the key to a long ride along the crest of a wave.   When it happens, it is a thing of beauty....

Any surfers out there who can give us some tips?

True Meaning of a Valentine

The women in the King County Washington Women Lawyers  have continually inspired me. Why?  Because of the ways in which they have supported pro bono work and have given back to the community, from programs like YWCA Girls First program , the Women’s Jubilee Center, to the Domestic Abuse Women’s Network (DAWN) .  KCWWL  always invites its members to bring new causes to the organization for support.  I have gotten involved in a number of the projects because I felt moved by what I saw and heard from the members.  As Tahmina Watson and Theresa Torgesen said in one of the KCWWL newsletters devoted to public service, “We feel privileged to have both the knowledge and skills that are powerful tools when used to help those who are often unable to help them-selves.  It is more than just a sense of responsibility that motivates us to give back to the community.  There is a feeling of immense satisfaction that comes with helping some-one who truly needs you.  We cannot think of a better way to contribute to the goodness of society….  Find your own path and encourage your colleagues to either join you or blaze a trail of their own."

In thinking about their commitment to service, I was reminded of a video about Jayesh Patel that I saw on my favorite video site, Karma Tube.  To me, giving back in your own community, from the heart, should be the theme of Valentine’s Day!!

  "This work is just a drop in the ocean," Jayesh observes."But a teardrop of compassion changes everything." So says the founder of an organization catering expressly to the 4500 residents of a slum community in Ahmedabad, India. In a remarkable walking interview with a man who had never before agreed to appear on-camera, Patel shares a simple philosophy: give everything to whatever comes up in a moment. "No ambition--mission!" he advises with a smile. "Don't stretch, never stretch. Wherever you are is the best time for you, whoever you're around are the best people for you. That's living in the present."

Patel speaks to Ghandi’s statement that the biggest problem after the Independence would be heartless intellectuals.  He notes that the only way to make a difference is to connect head, heart and hand in harmony.  As he walks through the huge slum, he poses an acronym for WALK: Witness nature and all that you see as you walk, Accept circumstance, whatever comes your way, Love your life and Know yourself--as you do the first three, you come to know who you are and why you are here.  Instead of being a leader, he suggests that we become ladders, encouraging others to develop themselves. My wish for you on Valentine's Day is that you find the intersection of your passion and your heart in helping others.

International Coaching Week--PSCA regional conference a great success!

The Puget Sound Coaches Association just held it's first regional coaching conference near Seattle, WA to coincide with the International Coaching Week. The conference theme was Coaching:Creating Conscious Choice & Change/ Learning and community-building for individuals and organizations.  There was a great turnout and the presenters and keynotes were inspiring and thought provoking.

There was never a dull moment.  Sandra Anne Taylor, best selling author of Quantum Success,  opened the day with her talk on how our consciousness creates our reality. Tip: laughter is the only activity that sparks all four quadrants of our brain, so laugh to shift what you create!!  Vikki Brock closed the day with a dynamite exercise so that we could discover our core values and look at our legacies.  At lunch, Pat Williams inspired us with stories about his new project, Coaching the Global Village. 

One of my favorite presenters was Gail Larsen. She showed us the power of reconnecting with our own experiences as we share them with the audience.  Using the Four-Fold Way, by Angeles Arrien as the basis for her approach, we were invited to identify our medicine and our message as the foundation for our work in the world. Just being in Gail's presence was transforming!

Mark Walsh-The Body Guy in UK

 

Mark Walsh is passionate about his work with embodiment, integration and peace and it shows.  Residing in colorful Brighton on the sea (I have added it to my travel wish list), Mark has accumulated quite the list of life experiences.  Everything from 10 years of aikido training and teaching on five continents (he is a black belt of course) to spending 3 years traveling the world with Aiki Extensions, Inc. He has studied with the leading somatics teachers Richard Strozzi-Heckler, Wendy Palmer and Paul Linden.  He has tried more types of body practices than you can count, including contact improv and trampolining.  He runs a successful training and leadership company and he is only 29!  Check out his blog-one of my favorites.  Most of all, Mark embraces embodiment and body mind integration practices and principles with so much enthusiasm that you are inspired to get curious and get moving....

SIGNED, SEALED AND DELIVERED

Obama represents a new kind of leader.  He embodies his values, his history, what he stands for, his vision. When we watched him give his inaugural speech, his words and message resonated deeply in us because they came from deep inside him.  He orates from his heart and his center.  His mind, emotions, body and spirit are integrated and aligned, creating a lightening rod for the wisdom and grace that flow through him.  Like a good dancer, his creative spirit expresses seamlessly, with dignity and enlivened energy. 

Through his leadership, he invites each of us to embody our truth, to cultivate it thoughtfully and then express it into the world through our creative gifts.  How can we resist??

As Elizabeth Alexander said in her inaugural poem, "What if the mightiest word is love?..Love that casts a widening pool of light...Praise Song for walking forward in that light."  From Praise Song for the Day: A Poem for Barack Obama's Presidential Inauguration."